Dear Diary: Jaded
by Cenobite829
Summary: Jade's story from the Dear Diary universe. See how she got with Robbie and how it all fell apart and also see key moments from her point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. There Happy?**

**A/N: **This is something that VegaKeep had asked for, to see Jade's point of view of the events. At first I was going to make this just a really long oneshot but then I realized I wanted to really focus on what was going on with her. This won't be just like Dear Diary and Robbie's Journal but more jumping around to major events. So we will start at the beginning of Robbie's and Jade's relationship. With out further ado here is Jaded.

Dear Diary

I am so happy. Well more ecstatic then just happy. I got in! I am going to Hollywood Arts and dad said it was ok. Well more of he didn't stop me. He still thinks this is a waste of time but he wasn't going to prevent me from following my dreams. At the end of the day what more could you want from a dad? I mean besides his acceptance and respect. Sorry that was off track.

I did a song to get in. I know I want to be a director or writer but I know I have a good voice so I used it to my advantage. I did I'm So Sick by Flyleaf and killed it. It is one of my favorite songs so it was an easy try out. Now I am just laying out what I want to wear tomorrow. A tang top, oversized flannel shirt, because it makes me look cute, and some tight black jeans with my converse sneakers. Perfect. Look out Hollywood Arts, Jade West is coming!

Dear Diary

Oh My God I just met the cutest boy today and he has the locker right next to me. He walked over and he looked so cute in his blue jeans and white shirt. Kind of a Swayze look from Footloose. He had really bushy hair and dark brown eyes there were magnified by his glasses but that seemed to make him cuter. He smiled at me and introduced himself.

"Hi I'm Robbie."

"Hey there Rob. I'm Jade. Nice hair." I said with a giggle and smiled at him. He smiled back and I swear my heart melted. We have a few classes together and we always sit together. We exchanged numbers and I kissed him on the cheek when I left. He blushed but it looked so cute. I think I am in love.

Dear Diary

I am going on my first date tomorrow. Robbie wanted to wait until the weekend and we are going to go to the park. I can't wait. He said it is going to be a picnic. I think that is so sweet and romantic. Also I met two new friends this week. The first was a little redhead that was so full of energy it was almost tiring to be near her. Her name was Cat and at first I got a little jealous that she would try to take Robbie but she never made a move. The other was a guy named Andre. He was a musician that could play just about anything. He also could sing but from what I heard he didn't do that to get in. He got in on pure musical talent. I can respect that. Anyway they became mine and Robbie's friends and lunches were great. We spent the whole time cracking up and laughing.

Dear Diary

Well what a first date. We got to the park and picked out a good spot and he set out all kinds of sandwiches and other good food. We sat down and talked for a long while about our hopes and dreams. I found out he wanted to be a world famous producer and he found out about my dream to direct. He made me a promise that if I ever made it big he would be my producer. I quickly agreed. We talked for a while longer about music before we grabbed the food to eat. Just before I took a bite I felt something crawl on my hand. I screamed when I saw ants on the sandwich. Then I looked down.

There were ants everywhere. I had put my feet into their hill and there were starting to bite my legs. I let out a scream and tried to get them off. What a day to wear shorts. Robbie tried to help and that left me confused. How was I supposed to focus on the ants when he kept rubbing my legs? I started to wish there were more ants so he wouldn't stop. After he got them all off he started to look for any food that was still good to eat when a blast of thunder nearly deafened us. Looking up we saw the sky had gotten almost black. We were so busy with the ants that we never even noticed. Before we could do anything the sky opened up and rain poured down on us. We ran to the nearest shelter, under the slide. As we stood under there he wrapped his arms around me and held me to keep me warm. I was so touched that I looked up and gave him a kiss. It was just a soft peck on the lips at least that is all it should've been.

We separated only about an inch and our eyes met. Suddenly there was no rain, no ants, nothing but him. He leaned down and kissed me again and this time I opened my mouth to let his tongue in. It was the most mind blowing kiss ever. I was soaked to the bone, had my legs bitten by ants, hungry, and at that moment I couldn't picture a more perfect moment. For the rest of my life I will remember today. I will remember that kiss and I will always smile. I couldn't ask for more in my life.

**A/N: I know this is a short chapter but it was to set up the relationship and their first kiss, which I wanted to be really special. I know it is kind of cliché to have the first date be horrible but they still are happy at the end but it really just fit. Next chapter we see the beginning of the change in Jade. Please Read and Review and let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary

I can not believe how good the last few weeks have been. Robbie and I went every where together. We are almost joined at the hip. We went to the movies every week and had dinner together all the time, at his house. I wasn't ready for him to meet my father yet. My stepmom is alright and may even like him but dad is a whole other story. He demands that I only have the best and Robbie will not fit his image of the best. That part does suck a little but it is ok.

I had to do the Bird Scene for Sikowitz's class before I could be in any of the shows at the school. I mean we all did but I was the first to figure it out. When that crazy teacher told me I didn't pass I got pissed. I yelled and screamed at him that I was great. He nodded and then told me it was a test because every artist has to be willing to stand by their choices and preformances. I get the point but it was still annoying. Robbie got it shortly after me and we celebrated by going to our favorite little coffee shop. I swear I am getting addicted to the stuff. I have a cup of coffee every morning at least and sometimes a few through out the day.

Anyway now because I did the Bird Scene I can sign up for plays so I signed up for everything I can think of. I want to get my name out there and this is how you do it. The auditions start tomorrow and I need to get ready.

Dear Diary

Well I am pissed. Ok let me explain. I got the understudy position under Susan Tellar. Susan Tellar is considered to be the best actress in the school. I can learn a lot from her so today I went into her dressing room ready to learn. Susan was a natural honey blond with dazzling blue eyes and flawless skin. Her body was perfect and she wore sexy but modest clothes. It gave the look of a classy woman but a wildcat when alone. I am not proud to admit it but I was enthralled by her. She was so sexy. I could never be like that. She motioned for me to sit by her and I did quickly.

"What is your name?" She asked in about the sweetest voice ever. I was some how even more jealouse of her.

"Jade West." I said. She smiled and nodded.

"Well then Jade keep your mind and ears open and I'll teach you alot." She said. Then she started teaching me about cues and how to say certain lines to get the effect I wanted. I learned a lot. When a few hours past Robbie came to pick me up. He gave me a kiss and soon we left but I caught a strange look on Susan's face, as if she was dissappointed in me. We got to my home and were relaxing watching movies when my father got home. He walked in and took one look at Robbie before calling me into another room. We walked into his study and he took a seat behind his desk and then looked at me. I suddenly felt like I was in the princepal's office.

"Jade was that your boyfriend?" He asked me in a cold tone. I nodded and he shook his head. "Not any more. While I do agree that you can have a boyfriend that boy is not good enough for you." He said.

"What do you mean not good enough? You don't even know him." I said trying to figure this out.

"He is jewish. That is enough. Now get him out of my house and that is the end of this discussion." He said in a tone that meant it really was over. I stomped out of the room and grabbed Robbie. I gave him a kiss and he went home. No matter what my dad says I won't turn my back on my boyfriend.

Dear Diary

It just keeps getting worse. After what happened at the house yesterday I was hoping for just a calm day at school and for the most part it was until I got into rehersal with Susan. I got in there and got ready to run lines with her but she looked at me and motioned for me to sit down.

"So who was that yesterday?" She asked casually.

"My boyfriend Robbie. He is so sweet." I said with a smile. She shook her head.

"Jade I am going to give you some advice. Get rid of him. He is a nerd and you can do so much better. I hear there is a hot guy in your class named Beck and you should be with him. You two could become the new power couple." She said.

"But I like Robbie. Why can't I be with him?" I asked trying to figure this out. It doesn't make any sense why I can't be with Robbie.

"Because he will do nothing but bring you down. He is not popular and most likely never will be. Robbie isn't the guy you vote for prom king, if we had one. No you need to go out with Beck." Susan said with almost complete authoraty. We ran lines for a while but my heart wasn't in it. Robbie came to pick me up but as I headed out Susan called me.

"Remember what I said Jade. You have to think of the long run." She said. I nodded and walked out. Robbie put his arms around me and gave me a hug and for the first time since we started dating I didn't return it. Surprisingly it didnt' hurt as much as I thought it would. He walked me home and when we passed our park I walked with him to the slide and kissed him. A hug was one thing but I could never ignore a kiss from him. His lips were soft and his arms were surprisingly strong as he held me close. My own arms were around his neck and my hands slid through his curly hair. We must have kissed for an hour before he walked me the rest of the way home but I didn't care. He stopped before coming on to my lawn and kissed me before heading home, knowing my dad didn't like him. I walked in and my father was there with a pissed off look on his face.

"Hi dad." I said softly.

"Don't you hi dad me. Do you want to guess what I saw as I drove past the park?" he said in a tone that screamed of his anger. As soon as he mentioned the park I knew what he had seen but I tried to play ignorant.

"No idea daddy." I said as innocently as I could. He didn't buy it for a second.

"Don't lie to me. I saw you and that damn Jew making out under the slide. I didn't know I was raising a whore." He shouted at me. I got ready for a smack or more yelling but what he did was far worse. He suddenly got really quiet and then he looked at me with a completely calm voice. "You will stop dating him." Then he left. I went up to my room and prayed he was not doing what I thought he was but I was right.

That night at dinner Dad was a cold and distant man. He only spoke to me if I asked him something and then he only gave a one or two word responce. See my father knows what I hate more then anything and that is indiffereance. I hated not feeling his love or his anger because at least even when he is mad at me I know he is aware of me and loves me. When he is cold I might as well be a statue for as much as he cares what happens to me.

Later in my room in tears I called up Robbie. I hated what I was going to do but I could still be with him at school so he should understand.

"Hey Jade what is up?" He asked in a bright tone. I hated myself even more.

"Robbie we need to talk." I said as calmly as I could. The line got very quiet.

"What is it Jade?"

"My dad doesn't like us going out so we have to stop doing anything in public that isn't at school." I said trying to keep my voice from breaking. It didnt' work and he heard how I sounded.

"What do you mean? Did he do something to you?" he asked and I heard the anger in his voice.

"Not physically. He became cold to me and made me feel like nothing. Promise me you will never hurt me Robbie. Please I need to hear that right now." I said as tears streamed down my face.

"Never Jade. I will never hurt you in any way." He said softly. Then he said. "We'll keep everything at school. IT will be fine. Don't worry I'll take care of everything."

"Ok Robbie. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow." I said. He wished me good night and I fell asleep into a fit full dream. Why can't I be with him?

**A/N: A short chapter that shows the beginning of the end. This is going to be a short story so I for see only about five or six chapters in all. I hope you all like it and remember please read and review.**


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